Friday, March 20, 2009

Spread your wings

I think it's about time that I move out. I love my home, I live in a wonderful neighborhood, and my mother is really great! Why would I leave, right? While I dont think i'm exactly ready to handle bills and all of that, I know i'm not willing to stay in my mothers house for another year. I'm getting older and I need my own space. I cant stand having to check in and clean when she says. It wouldnt be so bad if she wasnt "nagging" when she did it, but she it IS that bad. She treats me like a child and lets my little sister do whatever she pleases. I'm not sure that she understands how much I need to be treated as an adult. I am one. I'm going to be 21 soon, and while that isnt OLD....I do feel that it's old enough to know what you want in life. My mother is allowing me to stay with her for as long as possible, which is nice but totally unnecessary.In her mind, i think that's her way of keeping me as her "baby" for as long as possible. She even said "you're a child" to me, yesterday. It wont force me to grow up if she lets me stay here. Ive never worked for anything in my whole entire life, it's always been given to me. I want to get a job, and work towards getting my own place because for the first time...ever-- it'll be because of all of MY hard work. I know that I can do this. She's going to speak against it....
she's going to either downtalk me, or tell me it's not what I want. I know what I want, and what I want is to finally be looked at as the mature individual that ive been for so very long.
She always says that i'm ahead of my time, and that I'm mature...and "old" or whatever-- so why not treat me that way?
She purposely tells me that I look like a little girl...all the time! Who wants to hear that!? Yesterday, her co-worker called me "little one" TWICE!
I am small in stature, and I have a young face...yep
but I am NOT YOUNG! I am...but not in the sense that they mean it. I need to be on my own and I need to successfully provide for myself. It wont be easy but since when is life ever easy?

I figure, if I dont get out there...and do something about this NOW...i'm never going to. I'm ready to spread my wings, and fly
I cant stay in this nest forever.

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