Tuesday, March 31, 2009


blog everyday in the month of April
...no excuses


"You a nerd"

I was sitting outside today, enjoying the weather, when a yellow bus pulled up. From it came about a dozen middle school-aged children dressed fully in their uniforms who were very tired from a day of "learnin". A small group of boys walked past my house and stopped when they were out of my view...their voices still carried in the air though , so their conversation was completely audible lol

boy #1 : "I cant stay outside too long, I gotta start this homework"
boy #2: "what? why"
boy #1: "I've been slackin and I think I should pick up my grades"
boy #3: "nigga ,you a nerd"
boy #1: "whatever"

they all dispersed and went into their homes
What strikes me as odd, about our culture and generation, is that we always put each other down. Never, once, have I heard someone applaud another for doing what they're SUPPOSED to be doing ( well, not until I was in a junior in High School and then...SOMETIMES in college, butttttt.....) Why is that? Do we think that by keeping someone else down we dont have to do much work ourselves? Is it because we're lazy?
We should always try to be all that we can be
&& when a member of our peers wants to go out and do more, we shouldn't be a stumbling block and stand in their way
but rather....be the stepping stool that helps them reach their dreams! Whenever anyone makes it "big" they thank the ones they aided them in getting to where they've gotten - never the people who tried to stop them.

[[ side note :: since when is being a nerd a bad thing ?? Intellect is attractive ]]

Monday, March 30, 2009

Whatever tickles your Twitter

Social Networking has completely consumed about 90% of the lives of young adults. We wake up, check our messages, do whatever it is that we have to do for the day, check our messages....
maybe post a picture and a comment ( or two), come back home, and spend the rest of the night on our favorite site. I remember when Black Planet and Xanga was the "thing", then Tagged, Bebo, Yearbook.com, and Student Center, and Myspace
and then when they ran out of original ideas...they started copying off each other. Facebook was the more "grown up" Myspace. Myspace, then, took features from Facebook....
Facebook did it right back and now we have Twitter which stole from Myspace and Facebook with the status updates. When will this all stop? I'm completely addicted to the internet and i'm blaming boredom and NEW Social Networking sites. Everyone wants a way to "K.I.T" like they promised in their yearbook signatures....
but with the advancement of cell phones and text messaging
a simple phone call just wont do. We need something fresh...innovative and something that utilizes the full potential of the internet. We also want something that's fast and allows us to do more than one thing at a time. If you think about it, it's a smart move. But why so many sites ? Do we really need them all ?
I just joined a new site 3 days ago, and I'm sitting here thinking about how much time I can devote to it without abandoning Facebook lol It's like i'm juggling children~!!
I cant wait to see how much we'll depend on these things when we're older, or how these sites will affect our social interactions. The other day...someone said something funny to me and I actually pictured "LOL---smiley"
instead of laughing
[[pathetic]] lol

I do think, however, that sites like Twitter are taking things too far. It's an obvious copy-cat.
At the end of the day, it doesnt matter what I think of all of this-- whatever floats your boat I guess.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Everything i'm not

I figured I should probably write this so that
I never lose sight of who I am ....and who ive always been

I'm not the girl who does her hair everyday and thinks that it has to be "just so" before going out. You will almost always see my hair pulled up....that's just the way that I like it.

I dress to be comfortable && not to impress anyone. I like jeans && a tshirt b/c it's what I feel best in. I feel like heels, blouses, and huge necklaces are too much to have to wear everyday
...most of that stuff is worn for attention anyway

Flip flops are the perfect shoe because you can slide in and out of them so easily. Your feet never sweat in them because of how much air they get...and you get to show off whatever paint job you did to your toes.

I never do my nails and I probably wont until......oh, idk

I dont wear a lot of makeup

Weave // extensions// wigs // clip ins....are not for me

I dont go clubbing, I dont party and I'll probably never drink and smoke. I'm not BORING....that just isnt my thing.

I'm not a cookie-- stop calling me an oreo

If I can accept you for who you are ....
do me the courtesy of taking me as I am

Whoever said it was good for you?

Dont you hate when you have a bad thought in the middle of a really good day? This bad thought takes over all of the smiles and hugs that you've shared with people and completely dampens your mood. You try everything to stop thinking about it
you repeat songs in your head
you write something
quickly try to think about something else
but....like bacteria, it creeps its way back into your thought process and snowballs. I hate that! It's like no matter what I do to try to stay positive, always...
at the back of my mind
is some eerie thought that I desperately want to dispose of. I wish there was somewhere I could put them. Like, in a ....trash-bin in my mind. I mean, i guess I could-- figuratively lol

...rambling again

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Make a move

I saw a blind man at the metro station, he had one hand in his pocket and the other was holding a stick. He tapped it once on each side as he cautiously made his way to the escalator. The whole time, I was thinking " should I see if he needs some help?". Immediately, i thought about the time I tried to help someone old and she snapped back at me saying that she was fine. I didnt want that to happen again, so I didnt ask that man.
But then.....
I started thinking
that i think too much. I never just DO anything! When will I ever act impulsively? He probably did need help and now i'll never know because I didn't take the time to ask him. In the time I spent thinking about doing something nice....
I could have actually been doing something nice.
In conversations with people, i'll sit and think about all of the things I could say...
instead of just saying them.
The John Mayer song "Say" is perfect for me. I never say what I wanna say
&& I mean the FIRST thing that comes to mind is never said. Always the....fourth...or even the eighth. I need to stop over thinking and over analyzing and just do it.
I dont necessarily think it'd make me a better person, I just think it'd help people see that I really am paying attention to them lol and i'm not just sitting there as they talk

I can be so difficult

Friday, March 20, 2009

Spread your wings

I think it's about time that I move out. I love my home, I live in a wonderful neighborhood, and my mother is really great! Why would I leave, right? While I dont think i'm exactly ready to handle bills and all of that, I know i'm not willing to stay in my mothers house for another year. I'm getting older and I need my own space. I cant stand having to check in and clean when she says. It wouldnt be so bad if she wasnt "nagging" when she did it, but she does...so it IS that bad. She treats me like a child and lets my little sister do whatever she pleases. I'm not sure that she understands how much I need to be treated as an adult. I am one. I'm going to be 21 soon, and while that isnt OLD....I do feel that it's old enough to know what you want in life. My mother is allowing me to stay with her for as long as possible, which is nice but totally unnecessary.In her mind, i think that's her way of keeping me as her "baby" for as long as possible. She even said "you're a child" to me, yesterday. It wont force me to grow up if she lets me stay here. Ive never worked for anything in my whole entire life, it's always been given to me. I want to get a job, and work towards getting my own place because for the first time...ever-- it'll be because of all of MY hard work. I know that I can do this. She's going to speak against it....
she's going to either downtalk me, or tell me it's not what I want. I know what I want, and what I want is to finally be looked at as the mature individual that ive been for so very long.
She always says that i'm ahead of my time, and that I'm mature...and "old" or whatever-- so why not treat me that way?
She purposely tells me that I look like a little girl...all the time! Who wants to hear that!? Yesterday, her co-worker called me "little one" TWICE!
I am small in stature, and I have a young face...yep
but I am NOT YOUNG! I am...but not in the sense that they mean it. I need to be on my own and I need to successfully provide for myself. It wont be easy but since when is life ever easy?

I figure, if I dont get out there...and do something about this NOW...i'm never going to. I'm ready to spread my wings, and fly
I cant stay in this nest forever.