Dang, it's been a minute since I 'rambled'. Sorry brain, you haven't been exercised nearly as much as you should have been. So, I was pitifully watching BET ( dumb idea), and I watched as Drake repeated "what am I doin...oh that's right, i'm doin me". Now, honestly I dont listen to anything but christian music but my little sister was playing that song in the car earlier so I had a chance to hear it on repeat. I started thinking about my life and how I truly DONT know what i'm doing. I thought I was letting God lead me when really I was trying to take control. How many people know that when you let God be the passenger in your car, you're going to crash? Maybe not on the highway where you get to speed and spend your time trying to pass other people, but certainly somewhere along the road.
I've learned that i'm not a very good driver. Not literally (although, that's true too), but I cannot preach Christ, if i'm not allowing him to fully operate my vehicle.
On a side note, The BET awards piss me off. I'm so sick of my brothers and sisters chasing this dream so skillfully painted on the television. It is FAKE !!! I'm not feeln the fact that all of my classmates want to be rappers, and all of my wonderfully talented ladies want to model. Dont get me wrong, that stuff is ambitious and great and all but when it's motivated by these people on tv who wear close to nothing and live NOTHING, the dream is empty.
A little boy passed me on the train and I could see his underwear. Not boxers...underwear. THAT'S how young he was. Why cant we see that the music we listen to and the things we expose ourselves to is corrupting? What am I doing to change it ?
I just wanna be a blessing to someone and idk how to be really.